Nobody said going through Fertility Treatments was easy, and you may
have even anticipated it would take its toll on your marriage. Even so, most
couples think they’ll be different, that their relationship is more than able
to weather the trail of failed pregnancy tests, ridiculous mood-swings related
to hormone surges timed sex or sex on demand tears, stress, heartache – - whew!
It’s a lot for any couple to handle and nobody knows what it will really be like
until they are actually in the swirl of things.
The great news is that each year, more than 100,000 babies are born as
the result of assisted reproductive technologies and yours can be too. Here are
tips to help you and your significant other stay strong together and build your
relationship as you weather the storms ahead.
5 Ways for You and Your Partner to Stay Strong Together During IVF
Treatments
1.
Never
stop communicating. It’s important that
the two of you have a completely open and honest communication pathway. There will be ups and downs;
insecurities and anger, there may even be a little blame or guilt. It’s
important that you are honest with each other about where you are at. Trying to
fake it may work once in a while to lighten a mood, but it can be the downfall
of your intimacy and trust over the longer haul. If talking is difficult,
create a private blog/journal/email chain where you can write back and forth
but remember that face-to-face communication is always best. You may want to
consider working with a therapist.
2.
Start
working together on lifestyle improvements. Odds are that there are a few areas where your lifestyle could
be improved. This is even more pertinent for those who are trying to conceive
since the food you eat household chemicals and seemingly innocuous items around
your home may contribute to your infertility. Make this a time to band together in an effort to eat better,
drink more water, exercise regularly (but don’t overdo it!), ditch unhealthy
habits once and for all (smoking!), and start replacing potentially harmful
items around the home.
3.
Take
a break once in a while. Take a little break in
between IVF Treatments so you and your couple-hood can enjoy a few months without
the constant pressure of conception in the forefront of your daily lives. And
that brings us to number 4…
4.
Find
ways to keep the romance alive. It’s so difficult to keep chemistry and romance alive when
timing is everything in biological reproduction. Make sure you touch each other
more, as you pass from the living room couch to the kitchen, hugs and kisses
hello and goodbye, a playful pat on the rump –try to focus on the little
intimate gestures that have nothing to do with making a baby and everything to
do with honoring one another. Make lists of things you would like to do one
another and then try to cross a few items off the list. Start while you’re
taking and break and it may be easier to continue once you begin your next
round of treatment.
5.
Find
ways to show appreciation. There can be times where
the guy feels like one huge penis full of sperm and the woman feels like a
giant ovum – as if the rest of their amazing character traits and strengths
have fallen by the wayside and no longer matter. Focus on ways you can appreciate
each other for what each of you brings to the table – things that are
completely unrelated to baby making. This can be as simple as unloading the
dishwasher, tucking a thank you note into a sock drawer or blowing the budget
every once in a while for a special dinner out.
The more you can work
to strengthen your relationship before the baby comes, the easier it will be
when your newborn cries starts up for the seventh time in three hours and its
only 4 a.m.…
